your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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