Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm sobbing to NWA
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
