I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Too much gin, very little bucket
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
