whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize