Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
