careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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