his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
