his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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