So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Randomize
