Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
