I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
