you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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