The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize