I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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