I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
