So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
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