Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
These tits shall not be calmed
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
