I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
