sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
