somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
