matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
only if we run a train.
done.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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