How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
The dick lei will go down in squad history
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
