my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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