he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
