WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
