he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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