I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
