I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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