just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
