oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
