So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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