and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
