He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
