we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
