the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
