i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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