I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You're a waste of cheezeits
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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