I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize