Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
