I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
