you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
