I skipped work to stalk him.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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