Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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