East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
