so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
