I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
