I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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