i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
