so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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