nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
