Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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