lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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