I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
