would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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