Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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