why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
