I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
