benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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