Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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