I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Randomize
