It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
