I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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