Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize