i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
