I forgot how hot balto sounded
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
