it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize