I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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