she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
