Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
